Fighting away the tears

She was 17. There was a party somewhere above the hills of the part of countryside she grew in. She wanted to go, but wasn't sure.
17 , according to her mum, was an age of wonder.
her friend Bea was to be at the party. So she went to for she was sure not to be alone.

the party started. Girls were wearring vintage dresses and hairband. Young People like to have fun.

A few monthes later she went to the university and she left the countryside. She forgot the party, seh forgot the grass, she forgot the bad champagne she drank.

She was in town now. She was 18. Foolish things of the past had no more interrest for her.

One night, she was leaving a town party she had been invited to. She was in the stairs, bethanking the host and she saw him coming into the house. It was Lindbergh. he came from the countryside too but was one year older than her.

" Hey, you're from ***, he said.
- Yes
- Where are you going to.
-back home; it's late
- You don't leave there anylonger, do you ?
- No, I leave in town. My Aunt has a small town on the upper side of the river. It's far, I don't want to miss the bus.
- forget about the bus. i have a vespa ( and turning to his mate). Lend me your hat, I shall be back soon."

She didn't understand why he talked to her. They had been attending the same church, the same high school for years without a single word. And he picked her out. She had no will of being his girl of the night. But Lindbergh was one of the only " not-foolish-things" of her past. She agreed. 10 minutes after she was at the corner of her street ( she asked him not to let her in front of the home)

" How often do you come back home ?
- i don't know, twice a month usually.
- Are you going back this week end ?
- No, the one after
- Ok. My car will be fixed, I'll bring you back. Be ready on Friday night.
- i'm not sure it's a good idea
- Why ? You don't want to spare money ?
- No... It's just that. What will people say, at home ?
- Nothing. there will be nothing to say... What do you you study?
- French and Art.
- Sounds good. Are you often in the Blackmoor library ?
- No, i go to St John.
- God, you're in this freak place ? Are you a mormon ?
- My parents send me there. i'm thinking of changing next year. But they wanted me to go to St John one year at least...
- Ok, Do you know Peacock? It's in your freak neighbourhood.
- yes, I've been there before.
- Great. Then I meet you there, monday. When do you finish class
- At 4.
- We'll talk about that... Don't worry, I go church every time I back home. I have no intention to kill you"

And he vanished. And she walked on the way that brought her by home. Her Aunt was watching TV.

"Did you had a good evening honey ?
- yes, I met some fellow from ***. It was nice.
- Boy ?
- yes, he attends our church
- how many church do you have in *** ?
- One."

She slept well.

"Come what may", he whispered. Whisperring was his signature, he barely talked in his everyday life. She was used to his fantaisy.

She remembered him shouting once, he thought she had fall in the stairs of they rented holyday home in Greece. He told her he had been afraid as ever, and never start again.

He always behave in an gentlemanlike way. he was there for her when she needs support, more than a part-time friend and more than a part-time lover.

His hair were quite long, but not too long, dark and shinny, like perfect guys on the hairdresser's shop-windows. His mouth was incredibily light rose, that was the things she loved the more. Her eyes where plain, but it wasn't a big deal. Plain eyes can express a lot of different things.

His hands were always holding her hands. That was the best thing. She wasn't sure he was the one, but at that precise time, he was the one she wanted to be with. Nothing elses mattered.

When they met, it was a monday and she was listening to an old Madonna song. She always remembered the song she was listening to when something relevant happened in her life. The song was Ray of Light, one of her favorite.

He was her former roomate pal. the both of them were talking about somethings she didn't catch a word, and she asked for tea. He was american and not a tea drinker. She thought he was strange, and then they started talking. And then he invited her to the cinema because he hat free tickets for a festival. And then they went to a café in the towncenter, and then theyr started seeing each other regularly and then they kissed in front of the townhall.

As for now, they still weren't at the " All the good things must come to an end" part of the story, but they had time.

"Come what may" " Carpe Diem"

She put her head on his shoulders and remembered him shouting. She was fine. He was not to leave her like a jerk. he was his Mister Right.

I've been back may times in my life.
being back is not easy, at least for me.
There are so many things I miss from the past. It's always the same old thing, I miss the songs we sing.
What if I was not there, just for fun, i could vanish and fly to the moon.
But then I will have to come back once more.

Teuffelkreis